Friday Financial Tidbit-Want to get your Spouse on Board? Lose the Battle; Win the War!

A common question I get when working with couples is, “How do I get my spouse on board with a financial plan?”  This question is usually asked when one of the married partners reads a book, listens to a podcast, or visits a financial website and decides it is time to change how they are handling their money.  The problem is their spouse does not have the same info and becomes resistant to any change.  My answer to the question is you have to lose the battle to win the financial war.


Often the resistant spouse is resistant because the other spouse has tried to be a commander with the money and tell the other one what they were going to do.  It did not work. It is really key to get your spouse on board because you can not do it alone financially.  So to get your spouse on board, lose some small financial battles.  Let them keep some things in the budget that you might not agree with, as long as you both agree to it and your budget is balanced at the end of the month.  Compromise more on their side.  If you are debating whether to set your eating out budget at $200 or $100, go with $175.

Your spouse will come around when they are involved. True, it might slow down your debt snowball and it might take a few extra months to build your emergency fund.  But at least you are working together finally and are now on the same page financially!

Remember to focus on the “Why” and not the “What” because as long as you are on the same page with the “why,” you will eventually be on the same page with the “what.” So if you are having trouble getting your spouse on board with a financial plan, loosen up, lose a battle here and there and ultimately you will win the financial war.

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